ADHD Awareness Month – a spotlight on emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity
Awareness of ADHD has increased over the past few years. As people connect and share their stories, it’s becoming clear that many struggle with challenges that seem to form a big part of the ADHD experience, but which aren’t reflected yet in the official diagnostic criteria and might go under-recognised.
1. Emotional dysregulation – feeling emotions intensely and finding it hard to calm down or respond to stressful situations in a healthy way.
This can be one of the biggest challenges. People with ADHD might find themselves experiencing very strong emotions, like anger that flares up suddenly and might seem disproportionate to the situation. Research suggests that the ADHD brain often has difficulty moderating emotions, leading to those intense reactions, and you might also find it hard to calm down or move past feeling angry or upset.
2. Rejection sensitivity (often known as rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD) –
finding criticism or rejection extremely hurtful, and experiencing shame and low-self-worth.
Rejection sensitivity is another struggle that often goes under-recognised. As human beings, the need to be accepted and belong is hardwired, and feeling criticised or rejected by others can hit those with ADHD especially hard. The emotional pain can even feel like a physical ache in the body.
Many of my ADHD clients have described feeling that they are both ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’ for other people, and often feel as if they ‘can’t do anything right.’ Some want to connect with people but find it hard to build or maintain meaningful friendships and relationships, and end up blaming themselves. ADHD children and adults receive significantly more negative feedback than neurotypical peers, and some people have adapted to cope by using jokes to put themselves down, before others can do it for them.
Over time, the emotional experience of ADHD can have an impact on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth and overall quality of life.
How can therapy help?
During sessions, we can unpack all of this together, to make sense of what you’re feeling and understand where it comes from. This can help reduce shame and increase self-worth, meaning that emotional lows start to feel less intense.
I also believe in offering clients the tools they need to support themselves between sessions. We can explore coping skills and find things that work for you as an individual. This might include using grounding techniques to help your emotions feel less overwhelming. Another approach is identifying your emotions and recognising your triggers - this allows you to take steps to manage them, finding healthy ways to self-regulate.
Practicing mindfulness can also be helpful. That doesn’t have to mean sitting in meditation and clearing your mind (which could be difficult!). Mindfulness is just about noticing what’s happening in the present moment, which builds awareness of your feelings, needs and responses. This helps with developing emotional regulation skills.
It might feel hard to know where to start, but you can find a way forward that helps you to feel steadier and more resilient overall.
If you'd like to work with me, please do reach out. I can offer a free 15 minute intro call by phone or online meeting, to help decide if we'd be a good fit.
Tel: 07704980386
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